My Gamer Turn-off: What do you mean, you never played (insert title here)??
Yeah, you guys know what I’m talking about, and I’m sure it’s annoying to you too. “What do you mean, you’ve never played (title)?” “You haven’t seen (TV show/movie/play)? You’re not a true fan!” “You haven’t read (title)? How can you call yourself a book lover?” (Same goes for music too.)
It usually boils down to this simple idea– there is something wrong with YOU because you missed something or haven’t gotten around to it.
Obnoxious.
But it happens. We perpetuate this behavior. I did it earlier to my boyfriend– “What do you mean you have never played CHRONO TRIGGER?” And although he sat with me during Game of Thrones playing it, many people would be put off. That reaction? It ruins it for a lot of people, and they’ll refuse to play the game/watch the show/read the book because guess what? You just pissed them off.
I have another friend who absolutely would not watch Doctor Who because she was so put off by that kind of “what’s wrong with you, you can’t call yourself a true nerd if you haven’t blah blah blah” attitude. When we act like this, we entrench ourselves in the “omg why are you so annoying” category, and the person we’re talking to writes us off, and, by extension, write that cool game, show, movie, books, etc… off. We want to share the things we love, but it’s this kind of attitude that is not helping. We end up pushing others away from the things that give us joy and satisfaction because we are simultaneously insulting someone while recommending something awesome. That something awesome is then, for a time, overshadowed by our bad attitudes.
There’s a better way to say it without diminishing someone else’s nerd cred and putting them down. It’s not shocking that we all have gaps in our gaming/movies/etc experiences. We’re not posers if we haven’t played a couple of “classics”; we’re just growing. We’ll get to it.
“You know what? You would like (insert name of thing here). I think you’ll really enjoy it.” It works a lot better than being a jerk about it.
Please feel free to share your stories about things you’ve avoided because someone else was annoying you.
My example: Someone bothered me so badly that I refused to play Okami for a while, even though Okami is very cool and worth it.
Level 28 Gamer and Cat Lady. Special Skills: Scholarship with Specialization in English Literature, bonus points in Shakespeare. Sewing with Specialization in Cosplay and Genderbending. Athletics with a Focus in Judo.
I never find the question “What do you man you’ve never played/read/seen [Title]?” or any of its variations obnoxious. Whether or not I get annoyed is based solely on what comes ater that–the “You’re not a real geek!” follow-up, or incessant pestering the next time I see the person who brought it up. My tastes do not run parallel to all geeks’ tastes, and I don’t always have the time to do the things I want to do, now you’re going to insist on adding things to the pile? Gee, no thanks.
However, I have to be careful not to dismiss that stuff out of hand. I have loved many a thing that had been introduced to me with a “You haven’t seen/read/played [title]?!”
Except “Big Bang Theory.” I really find that show annoying.
Yeah, the followup and pestering is what gets to me too.
I also find Big Bang Theory annoying.
At the same time, if someone is costuming as a character or wearing the t-shirt or otherwise advertising themselves as an aficionado of something, I expect them to know their shit. I just don’t like disingenuous behavior as regards geekdom.
That’s fair. Wearing a shirt or a costume invites conversation about it. It’s partially why I never cosplay anything I’m not familiar with, but I would only cosplay a character I like anyway. 🙂
Like Caitlin, I’m rarely offended by the question in and of itself, it’s when it’s followed up by belittling comments. There’s always a degree of teasing within a group of good friends. For example, I didn’t mind the ribbing I got from my friends when they discovered I’d never read the “Hitchhiker’s Guide” books, even though they playfully threatened to revoke my geek card. BUT… if they’d been truly obnoxious about it, it would have bothered me.
I recommend the Hitchhiker’s Guide books, but it is true that a lot of people would act offended/revoke your “geek card.”
I don’t get that whole “geek card” or “man card” stuff. Is it supposed to make us feel special or something? lol
Unless I played it twenty years ago, or someone I know developed the game, I haven’t played it. I don’t watch much TV anymore.
All I do is help a friend create/develop his game and engage with people. And I love to do it. To what extent does anyone’s definition of what I do matter??
I hate labels, even the ones you try to own. (Which is essentially a ‘geek’ card is).
That said, I do this all the time. Not because “how dare you?!?” but rather, “please please there’s this thing I love that I want you to love too please please please share this with me my friends won’t and I need someone else to talk to about it please please please!!!”. (Doesn’t make it less annoying, but I got to own it).
I appreciate the dialogue about what a “geek” is and how we act as a group.